


I’ve Got A Hive Full O’ Honey

by rudbeckia



Category: Dredd (2012), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Undercover Boss: Starkiller Base - SNL Sketch
Genre: Adam Driver/Domhnall Gleeson Character Combinations, Bees, M/M, kylux adjacent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:48:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26047519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rudbeckia/pseuds/rudbeckia
Summary: Late for job assignment briefing, Matt is sent on the job nobody else wants. There’s a job sheet from a computer techie complaining about an unusual buzzing noise in one of the server rooms and Matt has to sort it out.Turns out the gorgeous, blue-eyed, redheaded techie is afraid of bees, but very fond of big, strong, gentle giants in beige overalls.(polished twitfic)
Relationships: Clan Techie (Dredd)/Matt the Radar Technician
Comments: 7
Kudos: 48





	I’ve Got A Hive Full O’ Honey

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AtlinMerrick](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtlinMerrick/gifts).



There’s nothing, on waking, usually, that tells you that the day is going to be any different from the usual humdrum routine of timed hygiene in the ‘fresher, measured nutrition from tasteless shakes, and repeated repairs to radar systems that other people fuck up.

And there was nothing, this morning, to inform Matt that he was about to meet the love of his life.

To be fair, if someone HAD said, "Hey, Mattie, I know the perfect guy for you!" he would have scoffed, shaken his dirty blonde mop and walked away muttering about his lack of luck in the love department. Referring to his unmentionably private anatomy as "the love department" might, he’s vaguely aware, be part of the problem. He should be more like Kylo Ren. He’s heard that Kylo Ren calls his penis "The General’s Pacifier", whatever that means. 

Five minutes in the ‘fresher. Five minutes to get into uniform. Five minutes ingesting protein slurry, jogan flavour (sort of). Five minutes to get to team briefing. But he’s five minutes late despite his sense of precision timing and briefing is underway.

“Ah. Matt." The shift supervisor eyes him evilly. "Bit of an unusual one for you today. These guys," she says, wafting her hands at the rest of the tech team, "are amateurs and this job needs your particular expertise."  
Someone titters. Matt frowns. "I’m a radar tech. The dorsal sensor array needs—"  
She silences him with a glare and a gesture and a gruff, "shut up, I’m the boss here."  
Matt presses his lips together and huffs through his nose, then mumbles, "Fine. Whatever."

In his head, he’s Kylo Ren and he has a big, sparky, crackly lightsaber and he says, "Fine!" with a sneer and, “Whatever!” waving it in all their smirking faces. But in real space he’s just a radar tech and he’s not the Supreme Leader and he has to do as he’s told even when it’s not a radar job.

“We got a job-sheet from one of the computer techs. Says there’s a problem with one of the server rooms. Nobody else can fix it so it came to us." The boss looks around. "And why is that?"  
"Because we’re the best!" someone chirps. Everyone cheers and laughs.  
“No," Matt says to himself as he scowls at the job details when everyone else has left. "It’s because we’re the last resort." 

The server room Matt is sent to is in the heart of the ship, protected by decks above and below, and surrounded by internal and external hulls. The server room, Matt muses, is probably the most secure place on the Finalizer. It’s so secure that he can’t get in. Annoyed by the waste of precious time, he bangs on the door. Hard. 

"Don’t!" 

He turns. There’s a techie hanging around in another doorway across the passage. The techie looks out from under long, red hair that Matt wants to touch. The techie asks, "You the technician?"  
Matt stares openly and the man shrinks a little. "I’m Matt. I’m a radar technician."  
"Radar," the techie echoes softly, then his face hardens. "This is not a motherfucking radar job!"  
Matt takes a step back, a reflex based in self preservation when faced with something feral. "Okay, um, the job sheet said general repairs so—"  
"It’s a Sithdamn biohazard!"  
“Oh!" Matt smiles and his shoulders drop back down from where they have crept towards his ears. "If it’s a biohazard there’s a team for that. I could call them." 

The techie slides down the wall and sits on the floor. "They’ve been and gone. Motherfucking useless cocksuckers didn’t do shit."  
“All right." Matt edges closer until he can see that the techie has red-rimmed eyes and a terrified expression peeking out from under the exhaustion. "Why don’t you show me what the problem is, techie?"  
The bluest eyes Matt has ever seen stare up at him. "Listen at the door. You can hear them. There are millions of them, all over all my servers. I don’t even know what they are, but the noise they make..." Techie sniffles. "The noise is terrifying!"

A protective instinct seems to take over and squeeze out Matt’s suspicion of new people. “Okay. I’ll listen. What’s your name, techie?"  
"Everyone just calls me Techie."  
"Okay, Techie. You sit tight. I’ll get to the bottom of this." Matt walks slowly back to the locked door. He turns his head so he can still see Techie while he presses his ear to the metal. It’s warmer than he expects, not by much, but enough for him to notice. 

"I hear the servers humming," he says. "And the air scrubbers whining. That’s all."  
Techie unfolds to stand up. "You sure?"  
"Come and listen for yourself," Matt says, holding his hand out. To his surprise, Techie takes his hand and grips tightly.  
"You’re sure you can’t hear anything else in there? Buzzing?"  
Matt shakes his head and shrugs. "You listen and tell me if there’s anything wrong."  
Techie rests his ear against the door and frowns. "Fucking cuntlickers! They’ve gone quiet. They do this. Make you think they’ve gone then all come out and terrorise you."

Matt refuses to entertain the notion that this copper-haired, blue-eyed darling who clearly needs a knight in shining armour—or at least a beige jumpsuit and an orange tool harness—might be suffering from space-sickness brought on by spending too long in hyperspace. When Matt speaks, he keeps his voice as calm as possible and tries to avoid that particular tone he often hears directed at himself when he’s feeling aggrieved. "Let me in, then," he snaps. 

Techie glares at him.  
"Sorry," Matt says. "I’m not good with people."  
Techie sighs. He holds his hand above the bioscanner for the door release but leans away as if ready to bolt from a trapped rathtar. "If they come out, you’re on your own."  
With that, Techie slams his hand down and the door slides open. Matt goes inside. 

It’s dark. It’s warm. The electrical hum is loud in here and there are occasional soft clicks and whirrs as cooling fans engage. The air scrubbers need serviced, given the constant whine and occasional screech coming from the vents. That is something he can do for Techie, and the thought makes him feel warm and a little tingly. 

As he stands still and waits for his eyes to adjust to the dim lighting, Matt hears a new noise. It’s a buzz, but not like the electricals. It’s a whine, but not like the air scrubbers. Then there’s a screech, and he realises that was him. Heart pounding and with a scream lodged in his throat, Matt drops his toolkit, freezes in place and covers his head with his arms. After a long minute, he realises that he is okay, his heart rate is dropping again and he blows out a long, raggedy breath. When he opens his eyes and looks up at the vents, he laughs in relief. "Techie?" he calls softly. "Can you come in here for a minute? I promise it’s safe." 

There’s no reply but Matt can just hear Techie moving on the other side of the door.  
"I’ll make it worth your while," he adds, then cringes at how that might sound. "I mean—"  
The door opens and Techie slips inside and tiptoes closer. "Are you okay? Did you see them? Did they come out and get you?"  
Matt laughs. "Techie, watch this. Just stay still." He points up to the vent and puts his arm protectively around Techie’s shoulders as a few dark shapes wriggle out from the air scrubber, fly around, then more and more pour out.  
Techie tenses and shrinks into himself. “No," he says. "Nonononono."  
"I promise it’s okay," Matt reassures. "They can’t bite or sting. You have a colony of Batuu honey bees. I read about them. Someone must have accidentally brought a queen on board on our last planetside leave."

Techie shudders and leans away. Matt sighs and allows Techie to pull them both to the doors. In the relative cool of the corridor, Techie does a full-body shudder and brushes at his clothing and hair. "Get the bastards off me!"  
Matt swats and swipes at Techie’s clothes but of course there is nothing. "You’re safe, babe," he says, then reddens and loses the power of speech.  
"I hate them," Techie says. "Get rid of them." 

Matt releases a sigh of relief. Maybe he didn’t hear. Then Techie adds, "Babe?"  
“It’s just a figure of speech!" Matt squeaks. "I didn’t mean anything by it. Look, forget it. I’ll go get a container and collect the whole hive. Then I’ll service the air scrubbers for you and you’ll be back to normal. You can have all the honey, if you like."

"Okay," Techie says.  
Matt swallows, shrugs and sighs.  
"Honey," Techie appends, grinning. 

Matt freezes for the second time today. He gives Techie a hurt look. "Are you making fun of me?"  
Techie looks horrified. "No! I think you’re." He looks away. "Sweet."  
“You think I’m sweet?" Matt blinks, speechless.  
Techie blushes pink. "Yes," he says. "Sorry."  
"But you look like an angel," Matt blurts out. "And I’m... What do you see in me?"  
Techie smiles. "You saved me from killer space bees and you didn’t laugh at me or insult me. I feel safe with you."  
Matt shakes his head. “They’re not killer space bees,” he says. “They’re just—"  
Techie raises a finger and almost touches the tip of Matt’s nose. "Work with me here, honey."  
"What? Um. Okay.” Matt chews his lip. “So I saved you from killer space bees. What now?"  
"Well, Matt,” Techie says, shuffling closer. “I’m very grateful. I should give you a reward."  
Matt’s face betrays his confusion at this unfamiliar game. "But It’s just my job to—"  
"MATT!” Techie pins Matt with those blue, blue eyes. “Honeybee, play along."  
"Huh? Okay. A rewa—"

The word is cut off by Techie’s lips on Matt’s lips, Techie’s hands on Matt’s ass and Techie’s hips grinding into Matt’s. 

"Is that," Techie asks after a full minute of kissing and groping in which Matt starts to get into character, "a hyper-spanner in your pocket or—"  
"No," Matt says, puzzled. "It’s my dick."  
"Well," Techie says, "I want it."  
“You want...?" Matt is on the point of deciding he really likes this strange, new game, but he waits for confirmation that he understands the rules.  
"You. Yes." Techie laughs softly. “I. Want. You.”  
"Out of gratitude?" Matt frowns, not sure if he wants to hear the answer.  
“Partly,” Techie says, hands exploring inside the coarse fabric of Matt’s uniform. "Matt, are you hiding an 8-pack under there?"  
"I work out. So what? So does Kylo Ren."  
Techie licks his lips. Matt follows the path of the little pink flash of tongue. "Show me. I want to see it and touch it."  
"Now? I’m on duty!” Matt’s alarm rises. “I didn’t finish the job yet!"  
Techie has a gleam to his grin. "Those buzzy little bastards aren’t going anywhere, are they? I want you now, Matt. I think you want me too."  
"Yes! Fuck, yes.” Matt groans as Techie’s hand cups his stiffening cock. He walks backwards until his heels clang against the door of the server room. “But... Babe... Bees—”  
"Not in there, you idiot! This way."

Techie takes Matt’s hand and pulls him a couple of doors further down the corridor to a supply room. After minutes of frantic but useless pulling at each other’s clothes, Matt lets Techie take the lead and soon they are both just as naked as they need to be, with Techie straddling Matt on top of a crate of spare parts. It’s over far too fast and Matt covers his face with his hands. "Babe, I’m sorry," he says.  
"What for?" Techie kisses his cheek. "I had fun. You sounded like it was fun for you too."  
"It was!” Matt sighs. “But isn’t it supposed to, I dunno, last? Longer? I always thought—"  
“Y’know," Techie says, interrupting, "what I needed there was quick relief. You were perfect." 

Matt looks up to see Techie grinning down at him. "Really?"  
Techie nods and drops a kiss onto Matt’s nose. "Now, you go move those killer bees for me, and bring me the whole hive-full of honey tonight."


End file.
